Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
