That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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