We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
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I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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