Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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