I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
