just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
