Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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