they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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