never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
