I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
