so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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