Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
