so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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