I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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