A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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