we're blogging at a bar
...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
