im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
