i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
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