Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
