I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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