What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
