I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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