just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
