If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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