This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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