I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
