I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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