And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
