Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
accomplished twins. life is a go
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
