You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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