i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
