I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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