they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
