i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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