Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
