Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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