Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize