he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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