I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm having to shit out rocks
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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