eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
