haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
