operation harelip BJ is a go
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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