I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
