I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We don't watch enough power rangers
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize