bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
