she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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