no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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