sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
