Me too!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
