should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
