I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Still dying that you shit outside
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
