yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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