He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
