Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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