ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
