also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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