Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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