I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
