I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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