I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
