I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
