I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
