I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
