I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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