His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
