Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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