How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
