your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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